I lived in an unhealthy family for more than 40 years, but I didn't make the choice to "break up" with my parents overnight. For most people, it's unimaginable for a grown man or woman to choose to stop all contact with their parents. The people who provided food, clothes, and shelter, attended dance recitals, volunteered at school, or cheered from the bleachers during every Friday night's football game don't deserve to be abandoned in their old age just because they made some parenting mistakes, right? According to Monica Ross, LPC, "If either party feels as though they cannot be respectful, loving, and supportive towards the other, then yes, it's time to move on and find those with whom one can.
Last Updated: September 10, References Approved. This article was co-authored by Mental Health America. Mental Health America is the nation's leading community-based nonprofit dedicated to addressing the needs of those living with mental illness and to promoting the overall mental health of all Americans. Their work is guided by the Before Stage 4 philosophy — that mental health conditions should be treated long before they reach the most critical points in the disease process. There are 19 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
Lack of maturity and patience is the number one risk factor. Although these parents typically truly love their children, they cannot handle the stress of raising them and lash out instead. Because of this, they do not necessarily see their actions as wrong. Study showed that if a parent was abused, there is a higher than 50 percent chance they will abuse their own. Tragically, the cycle is often hard to break and it goes on through several generations until someone realizes it is time to stop it.
New Year's resolutions are often broken as quickly as they are made, but in the case of parenting your young adult, it's a good idea to give these suggestions some thought. No one will be able to follow these guidelines all the time, but once your children have graduated college and are on their own, it's time to step back and let them come to you for parenting advice instead of jumping in whenever you sense a problem - which, if you're an involved and caring parent, will happen more often than you would like. I will respect my young adult's privacy.